Mental health and stuff

Mental health and stuff

Postby Lyberta » 23 Jul 2019, 17:24

Well, my life right now is only about suicide and killing other people. You don't want it here so I'm leaving.
Last edited by Lyberta on 06 Aug 2019, 11:01, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Julius » 23 Jul 2019, 17:40

:heart: I hope you will get better soon, and you are always welcome back here when you feel like talking about open source game development and other related topics.
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Re: Not useful

Postby drummyfish » 23 Jul 2019, 18:02

We had some disagreements on this forum so I am not sure I am not among the people you'd like to kill, but I assure you I like you as a person, I felt a lot of sympathy for many things I've heard you say. If you'd like to talk to someone struggling with mental health issues, feel free to email me.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 23 Jul 2019, 18:08

I've already stated my relevant feelings (if any) in the other thread, but I wish you well.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Lyberta » 26 Jul 2019, 16:39

Got a couple of e-mails from people on this forum... Didn't expect that. Well, there has been some steady influx of politics here and... I had a couple of changes in my life that made me think about stuff and made my depression worse. Anyway, I don't like proprietary software, it hurts me, things that hurt me make me angry, when I'm angry I'm uncontrollable.

Back in the day I'd go into "suicide mode" and just call people names until I get banned. This time I have a wife who told me to leave. Ok, I'm getting too emotional again, I'd better finish this post. I need a break from here. Couple of months? Years? Who knows.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 26 Jul 2019, 17:24

Lyberta {l Wrote}:Anyway, I don't like proprietary software, it hurts me, things that hurt me make me angry, when I'm angry I'm uncontrollable.


Well, some of us will be happy to fight against it for you until then. And I do mean happy to-- wherever that will be, whether on this forum or somewhere nearby. As Open Source continues to crumble under the weight of its own heavily-compromised success, the real version of it lives on.

Glad you have a partner to look out for your good interests. All the best.
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Re: Not useful

Postby drummyfish » 26 Jul 2019, 21:22

Nice to hear from you again.

Lyberta {l Wrote}:Anyway, I don't like proprietary software, it hurts me, things that hurt me make me angry, when I'm angry I'm uncontrollable.


The inside source of pain -- anger -- is probably harming you more than the outside source -- proprietary software. Try to focus on that -- the so called "anger management" is complete corporate invented BS, but emotions can be worked with and shaped. I am not talking about suppressing them, that's bad, but rather understanding and transforming them.

Yeah, not sure you're interested in my advice, but anyway, perhaps something to try in your time off now :) I wish you'll manage to find a way to more happiness.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Lyberta » 03 Aug 2019, 00:28

Update! John Sullivan, executive director of Free Software Foundation reported my death threats to him and FSF all the way through. I assume it went like this JS -> my hoster to get legal info, then JS -> US police -> US embassy in Russia -> Russian police. I was only informed about last 2 links. I guess since Russian police know about my mental disability, they contacted my father first. I also contacted a lawyer and so far it looks like I only get a serious warning, otherwise, they can't legally put me in jail because of my mental disability but they can pronounce me legally insane and lock me in psychiatric hospital for good.

It's funny, I was such a FOSS zealot that my breakup with FSF pushed me so far into insanity that they had to get police involved.

Anyway, it's only the beginning of the process. I'm gonna post updates if I'm not locked up.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 03 Aug 2019, 00:45

Welcome back! Relatable, though I've never had a hateboner for someone I've only encountered in niche circles such as software. Okay that's not true, lots of enemies actually, but yeah, FSF. I'll keep watching this space.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 03 Aug 2019, 14:14

Lyberta {l Wrote}:John Sullivan, executive director of Free Software Foundation reported my death threats to him and FSF all the way through.


Yeah, I'm sure it goes without saying that this isn't the way to get progress from the FSF. But you know that already.

I have doubts about the FSF these days, but I think if someone is dissatisfied with the FSF then expecting them to change is pretty hopeless-- I would seek a different avenue than trying to force or coerce them. Of course advocacy (without threats) and boycotts (of donations) and critique are valid options.

It's funny, I was such a FOSS zealot


I'm curious what was so important to you about free software that the FSF didn't already deliver. I mean I have my own misgivings, I don't think it's an absurdity to want more than they offer these days, but I'm still very curious. Take care of yourself and definitely seek out a solution that is not illegal next time. Cheers.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 03 Aug 2019, 15:30

I mean I have my own misgivings

You are volunteering for them. That's hardly the same, unless everyone here has some connection. IDGAF; I wouldn't get in with those screeching advocates in the first place.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 03 Aug 2019, 16:02

fluffrabbit {l Wrote}:You are volunteering for them. That's hardly the same


I do no direct work for the FSF, nor do I fund them. Like Lyberta, I am interested in FOSS (and like most so-called "zealots" I do not advocate violent means of advancing free software.)

You are trying to paint me as part of the FSF, but that does not make me a volunteer. I have my own advocacy work, the FSF does not even endorse what I do. So you are either mistaken, or insist on having your own perspective about me that is mostly untainted by facts.

IDGAF


I do, and others do. It's basically a given that at any point in history, a good 10% of people (at least) do not "GAF" about anything at all. Trying to appeal to those 10% is an exercise in pointlessness. So this particular issue of user rights is certainly no exception to that.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 03 Aug 2019, 16:11

Thought you said you were building lifeboats for them or some such thing. No idea what you meant by that.

Claiming that 90% of the population gives more than half a rat's ass about advocacy causes is a dubious claim. I think 80% don't care about those things. If democrats and republicans are in equal measure, there is a significant population of lefties who could be called moderate. I wish people around here were more moderate.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 03 Aug 2019, 16:19

fluffrabbit {l Wrote}:Claiming that 90% of the population gives more than half a rat's ass about advocacy causes is a dubious claim.


Also one I didn't make. I said at least 10% don't, I said nothing about the remainder. It was not implied, it was simply unaddressed.

I'm going to try to ignore the next post, so that Lyberta can still tell us what she wanted from the FSF before this turns into another debate that gets the thread locked. Other than that happening, I'm pretty happy to debate at length. The lifeboats comment was a metaphor: creating (lifeboats for the FSF), not (creating lifeboats) for the FSF. At the risk of sounding pedantic, lifeboats are for passengers whether you make them for the company that owns the boat or not. In this instance, the FSF are the passengers, I still do not work for them. They did not request this, I am doing it anyway. The owners of the Titanic were not interested in lifeboats-- imagine a 3rd-party boat captain traveling within range of the Titanic, carrying its own 3rd-party lifeboats. That's the idea.
Last edited by freemedia2018 on 03 Aug 2019, 16:29, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 03 Aug 2019, 16:29

Literal lifeboats, gotcha.

I'm just as happy not to continue the debate since I come here for games with source code so as to improve my programming skills, and very little else.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Lyberta » 04 Aug 2019, 09:48

freemedia2018 {l Wrote}:I do no direct work for the FSF, nor do I fund them.


I was an associate member of FSF for about 3 years. That costs 10$/month. I stopped that when I saw their tax report which had salaries in the ballpark of 7000$/month (holy shit). I expected them to do more for such huge sums of money. When you are a member, they send you physical letters signed by non other than John Sullivan with thanks but also begging for more money. Eh? You get 7000$/month, I get 300$ and you want more money? Nope.

freemedia2018 {l Wrote}:I'm curious what was so important to you about free software that the FSF didn't already deliver.


I expected them to be just a little bit sensitive, especially to people who gave them money. Just read the thread:

https://lists.gnu.org/archive/html/libr ... 00010.html

So as long as I pay money, everything is fine, as soon as I dare to speak about my pain they just ban me and force me to suffer in silence. Nice. Really nice.

Free Software Foundation: Pay us money and pretend to be happy. Or just kill yourself. We don't care. No sad feelings allowed.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 04 Aug 2019, 15:28

I frequented a poetry group in Oregon. I was pretty disappointed in their lack of interest in sci-fi. Why is the combination of poetry and things that are of interest to me so rare? Maybe because the warp field engineers who orbit nerd circles don't give a rat's ass about poetry and are strictly STEM. Ah, well.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Jastiv » 04 Aug 2019, 16:33

About the "high salaries" at the fsf. Most people don't realize how expensive certain areas of the world are to live in. The greater Boston area is one such area. $7000 a month won't get you very much there. It is even worse (like at least 3x worse) in California where some people do stupid things like take a software testing job for proprietary software games. Some guy my husband knew did that, and he had to move back to the east coast because he couldn't afford to live there on his salary (that probably sounded okay before he realized what things cost there. Its probably getting worse too, because I recall a couple years ago seeing an awful lot of homeless people in Cambridge (near Boston), and by homeless people, I mean regular people stuck outside with their sleeping bags and laptops. That is one good thing I can say about the fsf, at least the people working there do not have to sleep on the street.
Now, if people put the volunteer effort to improving things like free software groupware and voice and video chat, we could make a dent in some of these economic issues.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 04 Aug 2019, 16:42

Now, if people put the volunteer effort to improving things like free software groupware and voice and video chat, we could make a dent in some of these economic issues.

I'm all for FLOSS communication and collaboration software, but how can that improve economic issues?
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Re: Not useful

Postby Jastiv » 04 Aug 2019, 17:05

If people did not have to live in expensive areas to do certain kinds of work, they would not need such high salaries just to put a roof over their head.
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Re: Not useful

Postby fluffrabbit » 04 Aug 2019, 17:19

Makes sense.
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Re: Not useful

Postby freemedia2018 » 04 Aug 2019, 20:29

Lyberta {l Wrote}:I expected them to be just a little bit sensitive, especially to people who gave them money. Just read the thread:


I liked what Miles Fidelman said to Sullivan:

Personally, I find your censorship of a perfectly reasonable statement, to be offensive.


I know the name Miles Fidelman. He did, or does participate on the Devuan mailinglists, in the "early days" (half a decade ago) of Devuan.

I don't know what would be the best way for everyone to deal with such messages, though it makes me very happy when I see traditionally reasonable statements like the ones Fidelman made, rather than the sort of new take on managing every project in the world under increasing levels of censorship.

I myself, do not have a lot of money. I would like the FSF to be more receptive to members (in fact I have said so repeatedly, occasionally in very formal terms, for more than a year.)

I was also a member once, and left in protest of certain policies.

Now, I advocate for those policies-- as well as for people who were once members and felt their concerns went unaddressed or dismissed.

I have never been a fan of Sullivan. I don't hate him or anything, I simply think the FSF would be better served by someone who seemed less focused on the sorts of concerns he showed in the mailinglist.

I don't think the FSF is better for trying to avoid offending anyone. I don't mean that it should be racist or deliberately rude, but you can't advocate for things without offending people, when the very thing you advocate causes some people to act offended.

They just don't have the same ambition they once had, and I think they're backing away from advocacy a bit.
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Re: Not useful

Postby Lyberta » 06 Aug 2019, 09:35

Ok, I got spared the first time due to my mental disability.

But now that I'm on US and Russian police shortlist as insane psychopath, I have no idea how to live anymore. Previously I assumed that if I get angry, people will just ban me like it happened uncountable number of times, now there is always a fear of police involvement.
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Re: Mental health and stuff

Postby fluffrabbit » 06 Aug 2019, 15:20

It sounds like you're a good fit for the FSB. I think there are certain circles where it's okay to be an "insane psychopath". You shouldn't be so self-deprecating.
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Re: Mental health and stuff

Postby Ntech » 06 Aug 2019, 16:04

Lyberta {l Wrote}:now there is always a fear of police involvement.


Police involvement? I don't think anything done online (at a forum, etc.) could get you arrested, unless it is to DDOS/hack them. Remember that the U.S. has free-speech laws.
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