MCMic {l Wrote}:Great work
MCMic {l Wrote}:You might wanna use slightly longer shots.
MCMic {l Wrote}:And the first sentence "this is you" is quite weird to me. Maybe "here you are" would be better?
MCMic {l Wrote}:(Or maybe rewrite the whole dialog to something more funny like "Have you ever wonder what it would be like to jump on your shadow?" or "Have you ever felt like being followed?")
MCMic {l Wrote}:Oh, and the title of the game should go to the end of the video instead of the beginning.
odamite {l Wrote}:Yeah, I'm not a native English speaker.
odamite {l Wrote}:OK, here is a raw version of first scene. I've changed the plan a little bit so it's more logical way.
...
What do you think?
ctdabomb {l Wrote}:I like it though the level you are running on seems a bit flat.
Edward_Lii {l Wrote}: - Not sure about the second text (somehow it suggest a storyline with an unknown shadow, or that's just me )
Edward_Lii {l Wrote}: - Perhaps we should leave out the hud in the top-right corner.
odamite {l Wrote}:I also worked on the last scene/image which will give information about how to get the game shown in the trailer:
...
I wanted to add all platform where our game is currently working on and packaged for. Basically maemo is only a Linux distribution but the difference is that it's for a smart phone. It's nice to be there because more platforms will give a better impression of the game and I love maemo (I'm a Nokia N900 owner ).
Edward_Lii {l Wrote}:One thing though, shouldn't the OS names start with a capital?
odamite {l Wrote}:Talking of the names: should that Mac OS X entry called Mac or OS X. The whole thing is too long so either one must be selected. I think more people will know it as Mac but Apple has decided to call the operating system only OS X. I know this isn't so big deal but I was just wondering.
odamite {l Wrote}:@ctdabomb
It's better than the original but I would have hoped that it had been modificated a little bit more. I'm going to make some small changes to it but it's going to be in the trailer. Thanks.
ctdabomb {l Wrote}:Sorry, I have been quite busy and will be for a bit, So I didn't have much time to make it better.
ctdabomb {l Wrote}:Maybe at the end you should have a list of credits listing the developers and what they do?
odamite {l Wrote}:However I have made some progress and I wanted to show this to you guys:
odamite {l Wrote}:It isn't ready quite yet because some scenes and texts are missing. I'm think about adding the following:
- "Try to beat your best time and earn medals."
Not sure about this because in my opinion it isn't so important feature. Usually every game has some scoring system so it could be useless to show.- "Download more custom levels..."
Show the addon manager. But I think that it's not so great to show available addons because there're so few of them. On other and I think that it should be showed because creating custom content and sharing it is the basis of a player community. It will attract more people for sure (hopefully?).- "...and create your own."
Just some timelapse video of creating a level and then testing it in real time. If some one is interested in recording a timelapse of the process of creating some big level I would appreciate it and include it in trailer right away. But if not I'm going to record myself creating some super simple level.
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