The Internet is dead

The Internet is dead

Postby Lyberta » 01 Sep 2020, 11:50

Ah, another one of those stories...

So it's me again and I wanted to buy a 4K digital download of The Fandom. Surely I just enter my CC details in a couple of seconds, get my copy and go on with my life? Surely?!

Hell no. Okay, the only way to pay is PayPal. *sigh*. Fine, the author of the film is a furry and transgender like I am, surely I can just contact her, explain exactly why PayPal is the worst transphobic nightmare on the Internet, we can quickly work other method of payment and I will go on with my life as a happy owner of the 4K copy of The Fandom. Right?

Ok, there is a contact form on the site, I quickly explain everything, hit Send... Google Captcha is blocked by my browser security. Fair enough. I add Google Captcha to whitelist, copy-paste my complaint, click Send... Nothing. Fair enough, maybe some server-side crap is blocking Tor exit node IP. I switch to clearnet container, copy-paste my complaint, click Send... Nothing. Okay, I refresh the page, my complaint, click Send... Nothing.

Hmm, ok, fine, no problem. I can check her personal site, surely there is an easy way to contact her, right? Let's see... Twitter? I actually tried to register very recently but it asked for a phone number. Uh, no. I've found a service that can give you temporary phone number for 3$ but they say not to change IPs much when connected to Twitter. Well, my Tor exit node changes every 10 minutes or so which also changes my country so this whole thing is worthless. Next. YouTube? uhh, why would I create a YouTube account just to post a comment on the video which will probably be buried very fast and I don't really know how YouTube works and if there are any DMs. Might as well skip. Next. Facebook? Uh, no. I even have a global block on all traffic from Facebook. Next. Instagram? Wait, isn't it basically the same as Facebook? Also, I click on it and it prompts me to log in. Wait, I can't even view the user's profile? No. Next. Patreon? Wait, why would I start recurring donations just to contact her? No. Next....???? NEXT??? Wait, there are no more links on the website.

Huh... Duh, I can totally search the Internet for other means. Can't stop me that easily. Let's see... Oh, there was a Kickstarter campaign for that movie. Wait, too late to pledge. Hmm... I see a Discord link somewhere but that shit is shit (don't mind my another deleted GitHub account). YouTube channel has link to Ko-fi, maybe I can...

Wait. Wait. Wait. Ah, fuck it. You know what? PayPal can have it. I don't f'king care anymore you know. I respect how sovereign citizens say that since they didn't consent to being citizens, the legal paperwork forced on them does not apply to them. And you know what? I used to be extremely hurt any time I needed to go and get legal documents because they do not represent me at all. But since I came out as furry and otherkin, I'm just so over this. These legal documents have fake name, fake photo, fake gender and, by assumption that only humans can be referred in these documents, fake species. Essentially, this is just a bunch of worthless paper with a random data on it that in no way, shape or form refer to me. I can give a bunch of random fake data to PayPal. PayPal can have all the lies it wants.

So... Yeah, I go through this bullshit of filling CC info and then surprise compulsory account creation. I fill all this random crap. Takes a while though. So much legal useless paper, CC info, passport, other government crap, hey, why don't you just install a fucking camera above my bed, why don't you? Anyway... Random surprise "security check". Ah crap, another Captcha falling into properly configured browser that blocks all that crap. Fine, a whitelist, reload the page.... And it ERASES EVERYTHING and puts me into the beginning page. WWWWWWWHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! I've just spent like 10 minutes shuffling through this fucking government random fake crap, copying all that shit into your fucking form and you just..... ARGHGHGHGHG.

Ok, 10 minutes later.... Another random surprise "security check"! Hah! And turns out I didn't whitelist enough. Oh, you fucking... Ok, after a lot of fiddling I manage to get Captcha to show without reloading the page. So I solve it and.... "please enter a valid e-mail address". WHAT? WHAT? I use this address for all my shopping online, PayPal. Fucking accept it!... Random surprise "security check"!! AHHAHAHAHA LOLLLOLOL.

Ok... Well... Uhh... Ok, my e-mail address starts with legal@. Maybe PayPal has a list of such formal things (like noreply@, etc). Sure, I self-host I have a bunch of addresses and I can create unlimited number of them. I can choose another.... "Please enter a valid e-mail address". Ok, another.. "Please enter a valid e-mail address". ... Really, PayPal, really? Ok. OK! Fine, I still have my dead father's e-mail that is not self-hosted. Obviously, it means I will delete my PayPal account as soon as I buy this fucking film but I don't care at this point... Random surprise "security check". HAHAHA!! So, funny, PayPal, you're so funny!

AND IT PASSES! HOLY SHIT WHAT? I HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT?!! INSANE. Wait, now you're asking me to add a bank card. Didn't I put it as the first fucking thing when checking out, huh? Fine, I put the same damn thing like 5 times now due to your bullshit, I can type it again the 6th time. "Your bank card is denied. Please use a different one". You don't say. You don't say that my bank card that I use to pay for a whole bunch of stuff is suddenly "denied". Okay, maybe a typo. 7th time the charm! "Your bank card is denied. Please use a different one". Um.. Uh... Ah.. Eh... Uh...

Uh... Well, I didn't need a PayPal account in the first place. To hell it goes with my dead father's e-mail address.

Meh. Yeah, you know what? Ko-Fi! Yeah, Ko-Fi! You want money? I will give you money. Oh yeah, I will give enough. Want 9.99$ for a fucking 4K version of the fucking movie? Here, take 21$. Just as a one-time tip. But I'm gonna say all I think about PayPal. Oh, yeah. You won't be able to ignore me this time. I'm gonna put my money where my mouth is! Okay, I click "Pay"...

It redirects to PayPal.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH
HA HA HA HA HAAH


We did it, everyone! It's 2020 and there is no way for people to exchange money or text messages on the Internet! I'm so proud of all of you! Good job. Excellent.

The Internet is dead. It's dead. Gone. Killed. What a life!
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Lyberta
 
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Re: The Internet is dead

Postby O01eg » 01 Sep 2020, 15:32

Use Bitcoin like Gab.
Public FreeOrion multiplayer server: https://freeorion-test.dedyn.io/
Slow paced multiplayer server (registration required!): https://freeorion.org/forum/viewtopic.p ... 705#p95705
Donates for FreeOrion multiplayer improvements: BTC:14XLekD9ifwqLtZX4iteepvbLQNYVG87zK
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Re: The Internet is dead

Postby Julius » 01 Sep 2020, 22:02

Sigh... Email is dead because of spammers, online payments are broken because of massive fraud... bitcoin is basically run by the mafia. Humanity sort of sucks :eew:
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” - Philip K. Dick
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